I’m not sure about you, but I’ve been living in a constant state of blurriness over the last eight or nine weeks – I’ve completely lost count. It could be 12, but I’m going to probably keep saying eight or nine weeks for the next two or three weeks. That’s just where I’m at – maybe you are too.

In fact, so many weeks have gone by that it’s nearly time for his next treatment. My darling endures infusion therapy twice a year – November and May are the scheduled months. Some of your loved ones may have treatments far more frequent than this – maybe someone you care for has cancer or any other number of illnesses that require infusions or radiation, etc.

I don’t know how you’re coping with the current global situation – AND having to manage treatments – but I’m not handling it well. If you are, please show me your secret ways.

We’ve been holed up in our home for the last “eight or nine” weeks – the four of us – and have self isolated in hopes that we may avoid a catastrophe in our own home. So far the only catastrophes have been related to me pretending to be a teacher to my children. It has been going poorly, at best. (I love you to all of our children’s teachers – you know who you are!!)

But treatment day is a few days away now – it literally snuck up on me – and I’m worried. There aren’t enough barriers and bubble wrap to make this sinking feeling in my stomach go away. And therapy can’t wait. It’s a rock and a hard place situation. Avoiding therapy now puts him at risk for a relapse that could send him to the hospital (and then rehab center) – which is the very last place he needs to be right now.

We are really fortunate to have incredible medical staff caring for him at our infusion center and I know that they are doing the best they can to protect patients from exposure – but no system in this very strange situation is perfect.

Another aspect that is weighing on my heart is the number of individuals who blatantly refuse to follow CDC mask-wearing guidelines, which were published on April 2. With Texas hastily (yes, this is my personal blog and that is my opinion – we don’t have to agree, but it’s what I believe) reopening non-essential businesses on the very same day that my darling gets his infusion, I wonder how many of the non-mask wearing people we will encounter on this trip.

Maybe if you are one of those people, you would consider wearing your mask in public to help protect the vulnerable members of our society, those who need care – and their caregivers.

These are thoughts that keep me up at night – it’s almost midnight as I write this, and these are the thoughts keeping me up.

We’re going to do all we are able to do to help protect my darling (and myself) from exposure. We’ll be donning our masks, washing hands, and using sanitizer frequently.

I just hope it’s enough to protect us.